


he's gone, he left

by ironccap



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:14:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25979548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironccap/pseuds/ironccap
Summary: Martín's thoughts when Andrés left him.
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	he's gone, he left

This is the end.

_(The plans went all wrong.)_

Martín knew it the moment Andrés stepped through the door of the study. It was as if something had changed. Shifted.

Something that screamed 'this is it, this is the end of everything and you don't get a say in it'.

All Martín wished to do was cut off his ears, so he didn't have to hear it. Maybe stab himself through the chest while he was at it, too. 

At least he wouldn't get hurt if he was dead.

_(But he was sure Andrés' words would kill him anyway.)_

He looked up from his books, careful not to break his calm façade. 

_(It was a lost cause, Andrés saw right through him. Like he always did.)_

"Martín," 

There it was. The tone, the way he pronounced the name. As if the walls of the monastery would come crumble down if he said it too loud. 

_(Not that Martín would care. He would lose his home in a few minutes anyway.)_

"I have to leave you," Andrés said. 

It sounded like a conclusion. Like the answer to a difficult riddle that had finally been discovered. After days, weeks, months of pondering if it was actually the correct one.

And now that it had been verified, there was no turning back. 

Deep down, Martín had always known this would happen. Sooner or later, Andrés would leave him, for good. Everyone does. Always. That was Martín's only security in life. 

_No one stays._

"It's... For love," Andrés added. He tried to make eye contact with Martín, who refused it. 

_(Locking eyes would open up the safely secured box of feelings that Martín was keeping from him.)_

"For—," Andrés said, trying to continue. Martín cut him off. 

"For _love_?" he asked, outraged. What a joke. What a fucking horrible thing to say.

"That's not love," Martín spat. But actually, it was. At least for Martín. He had always loved Andrés. Had told him so, too. Several times. Every day, every hour. 

It hadn't been enough. Martín had never been enough. To anyone. It shouldn't have surprised him this much. _(But it did.)_

"But it is. Martín, I care about you so m—," 

"If you actually cared, you wouldn't do this to me," he said. Or actually, yelled. He didn't know when exactly his voice had gone up. Or when exactly his hands had started shaking.

_(When exactly he had started tasting the salty tears that were rolling down his cheeks.)_

"I'm sorry, Martín. But we have to part ways."

Martín could tell that he meant it. That it hurt him to say it. That this was hard for Andrés too. But he couldn't force himself to be empathic. Not when his own heart needed fixing first. When he himself was close to bleeding out.

Maybe one day he would be able to understand where Andrés was coming from. But today wasn't that day. _(Neither was tomorrow. Or the day after.)_

"I offered to melt gold with you," Martín screamed, mainly into the void. Andrés wouldn't listen to him, wouldn't change his mind. 

Andrés yelled back. Something about holding onto a thing that would never exist. Martín felt his blood turn ice cold. It wouldn't be much longer before he collapsed on the ground for good.

"Goodbye, my love. I'm sure that, one way or another, time will bring us back together." 

_(Both of them knew that was a lie. This wasn't a children's tale with a happy ending.)_

He had never really believed in folk tales, but when Martín had met Andrés all those years ago, he'd been convinced he was his knight in shining armour. There to protect him, to care for him. 

To love him like no one else would.

But seeing Andrés turn his back on him, here and now, had proven him wrong once again.

He watched him fade away step by step and couldn't stop but wonder how the _fuck_ their fairytale had gone bad this quickly.

**Author's Note:**

> You can always follow me on my [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/hannib4l).


End file.
